They needed:
- an introduction
- a body with steps explaining how or why
- a conclusion
- technical or scientific language like turtles, eggs, hatch
- connective words like so, because, while
- sentence starters like first, next, then
- to have correct spelling, punctuation and check it makes sense
Introduction feedback
ReplyDeleteSam: you need a full stop after the word around in your introduction, because its a new idea.
Paige: you dont need an exclamation mark at the end of the introduction
Hollie: there are quite a few spelling mistakes which need fixing
Body feedback:
ReplyDeleteNathaniel : you have written clearly about each section of the plan and its in order. You could use more detailed words such as seagulls instead of big birds.
Lucy - they have used all the correct information well, some of their writing doesn't make sense.
Hollie - they have clear paragraphs for each section of the plan.
Paige - Paragraphs are a good length, they could check it makes sense and fix spelling mistakes
Miss Baker - you need to add a conclusion