Trade explanation - Kiefer

Here is the feedback we gave to Kiefer about the structure, language, spelling and grammar in his explanation about trade.

Explanation writing - how a turtle turns into an adult

Charlotte, Blake and Thomas have been focusing on getting the structure and language features correct for explanations.

They needed:
- an introduction
- a body with steps explaining how or why
- a conclusion
- technical or scientific language like turtles, eggs, hatch
- connective words like so, because, while
- sentence starters like first, next, then
- to have correct spelling, punctuation and check it makes sense

Explanation writing - how does the seat turtle grow into an adult?

Lily and Nicole have been focussing on getting the structure and language features correct for explanations.

They needed:
- an introduction
- a body with steps explaining how or why
- a conclusion
- technical or scientific language like turtles, eggs, hatch
- connective words like so, because, while
- sentence starters like first, next, then
- to have correct spelling, punctuation and check it makes sense

E-Learning class in room 6 

Hi my name is mark and think E-learning classes are better than non e-learning classes because in e-learning classes we get I-pads and in normal classes you don't learn as much. Plus you use more paper in normal classes and that means cutting down more trees and that would lead to the world having less oxygen but with IPads your saving the world by not using paper and 

How humans got hands

Kiefer has been focussing on making sure his narrative writing makes sense. His success criteria is:

• Re-read to check it make sense and make changes if not
• Use past tense eg: grew, played
• Have capital letters and full stops in the correct place

By Kiefer

How the creepers got their gun powder

I have been focussing on spelling. The remember to's from the teacher were:

• Spell common words correctly eg: the, at, then, when 
• Attempt harder words with your knowledge of letter sounds and blends
• Underline try words
• Correct try words with the use of a dictionary

By Riley

How the lion got its mane

Lucy has been focussing on punctuation in her narrative myth writing. Her success criteria was:

• Use capital letters for the start of sentences
• Use full stops at the end of sentences
• Use capital letters for the name of people and places
• Use speech marks for characters speaking

By Lucy

How the crab got its claws

Nicole has been focussing on her structuring a narrative correctly. Her success criteria was:

• An introduction with who, what, where and when
• A body with a problem and solution
• A conclusion 
• Seperate ideas with paragraphs

Deep deep down on the rocky shore there was a very friendly crab and his name was Chris. He had just moved to the Pacific Northwest rocky shore.Chris had just started school and was finding it hard to settle in because the other crabs were picking on him as he was the new crab on the rock. They really were bullying him! Chris had no weapons to protect himself from the bullies so that night he wished and wished that he would have some claws to pinch the bullies if they were being mean. The next morning Chris woke up and was amazed to see that his wish had come true. At school the next day Chris didn’t say anything, instead he waited to see what everyone would say. Craig, the biggest bully in school, was the first one to come up to Chris. “What have you done Chris?” “I have some weapons to protect myself as I am sick of everyone picking on me. Beware of my claws or else I will clip you! So please leave me alone Craig.” So Chris walked off. The girl crabs now liked Chris. They all thought he was strong and tough. All the boy crabs were scared of Chris and his new claws. At the end of school all the girls were asking Chris what he was doing in the weekends. And that’s how the crab got its claws.

By Nicole